(an excerpt from The Myth of Tori - Chapter 6: To Venus and Back)
Claim your pain
I have a really good shrink but I find I don’t need her as much. When I was working with her, it was like beading a necklace. One little bead at a time. The idea that you just have a couple of sessions and brush the dirt off your hands and say, “All right, that’s taken care of,” doesn’t work. Sometimes I go to see her, just like a check-up at a regular doctor. It’s good knowing there is someone you can talk to. She knows things other people don’t know.
Violence is always violence. The circumstances might vary, but what I felt when I was raped, and what the people that were affected by a war like the one of old Yugoslavia have lived is surely the same. When you’re abused, there’s a time to cry, to be looked after, and stop the bleeding. But there will be a time that you have to look after yourself. I believe women have to get more powerful. They are always looking for the prince on the white horse or the dark prince who can lighten their dark sides.
I don’t find personal relationships hard. Believe it or not, I have a sense of humor. Men have their own battles. To be honest, their lives spin around women. Take a look at history. In the end, it’s always about who can screw the daughter. Society always allowed men to do what they wanted to do: drink, fight, rape, screw. Enough room for the dark side. At the same time, women would wait, frightened: “When will I be raped, robbed or abused?” Some of them turn as hard as nails because of that fear. You can’t reach them anymore. I was like that as well. But physically I’m in reach, of course. I mean, that penis has to get in somewhere.
One thing that bothers me is when women are cruel to other women. They become that way when their inner self is wounded. They’re almost not accessible. You can always seduce a man, but a woman will try to break that force. A woman who’s harsh is like an animal that kills, like a predator.
Women shouldn’t deny their dark side. Sometimes those demons are frightening and sometimes they’re beautiful. You’ll have to approach them. Drink a glass of wine with them, take them for a walk on the beach, examine yourself. When you’ll think about yourself for fifteen minutes a day, very honest and without a lot of criticism, you will get to know your force. Every person is unique. You have to find and respect that unique part in yourself. You can’t expect others to do the work for you. I believe a personality is like a labyrinth where you can make a wonderful journey. And that journey can take a lifetime.
In the past hundred years, issues like rape and incest are being criticized for the first time. Women are allowed to work, have an independent life and can refuse sex. Such an attitude does have its influence on men as well. Sometimes they can’t get their penis up for strong women. But it can turn around in sexual abuse as well. Sometimes after the show, children tell me they’re in an incestuous situation. When they say, “It’s Gods will,” I can cut the culprit’s throat. Abuse isn’t what God was talking about. Absolutely not. Fuck “God’s will.”
I think when you see some of the little girls that I have that have been gang raped, it’s real hard to justify that shit and say, “Her higher self wanted it.” There are a lot of esoterics and shaman that have their opinion, but I think there’s a lot of horse shit in that, because nobody is talking directly to the divine. And you can’t say she was Hitler in a past life. Those things I feel are really weak and naive – try it on somebody else.
I think there is a place where there is the aching heart. We do weep many tears. Because when some people are close to soul death, you’re so cut off from your heart that you can to that to somebody else. It doesn’t justify what you’ve done to somebody else, just because you’re in pain. And I think that it will continue until a generation rises up, claims their pain and says, “I must take the abscess, I must take the poison, and I must take the wound and look at it, and transmute it,” and that’s what the medicine women and medicine men did.
Jung calls this working with your shadow. There are books out there that I recommend for people that want to go into the psyche. Anything by Marion Woodman, powerful stuff. She’s a Jungian. Addiction to Perfection teaches us how to handle our emotions. We’re taught how to balance our checking accounts but not how to scream at the teller. Robert Johnson, he wrote a book called Owning Your Own Shadow, which I think is powerful. It’s about how not to put your monsters on other people or take on other people’s monsters. It’s about power. There’s a book that I’ve just gotten, which seems to be quite fascinating called The Fruitful Darkness by Joan Halifax.
And all this is about opening yourself to different information, checking in with your own instincts, and seeing what feels right and putting aside what doesn’t feel right at the time. When I mention these books, there are zillions of books, but it’s about a quest and about getting up off your ass and being part of the creative process in your own life instead of a blob in front of the TV screen all the time. Balance the TV, people. It’s one thing to enjoy it and it’s another thing to be a servant of it. Because it sucks and it sucks and it sucks your own creativity.
[pre-order The Myth of Tori; only 30 copies are left from the limited edition printing]
(an excerpt from The Myth of Tori - Chapter 6: To Venus and Back)
Marion Woodman, a brilliant Jungian analyst, discusses her therapy technique, dream interpretation, etc. Broadcast May 1997.
|—||- Marion Woodman|
Marion Woodman: “How we see ourselves determines what happens to us in our lives. If we do not respect and love ourselves that will carry over into our relationships and others will not respect us.”
Marion Woodman on healing…
In this clip, Jungian analyst and writer Robert A. Johnson talks about “The Golden World,” the natural, mystical paradise we inhabit but no longer see. The image is a clip from The Garden of Earthly Delights by Bosch (c.1480-1505).
Robert Johnson offers a way to re-envision the Christian Cross and “heresy” in a way that, perhaps, more men can relate to. Envision the horizontal cross-bar of the Cross as our “doing” dimension. When we focus exclusively on “doing” our lives start to feel empty and meaningless. The vertical bar on the cross, connecting earth and sky (or, “Heaven and Earth”) can be our “being” dimension. We need the balance of both.
In the Christian tradition, Robert Johnson points out, all “heresy” is a misunderstanding of the nature of Christ. Christ was both fully human and fully divine. Anything that departs from that exact balance is heresy. Robert found the power of the word “heresy” in his own life. You don’t need to be Christian to spot heresy in your own psyche. “When my life becomes more doing than being I am in heresy. Alternatively, if my life becomes more being than doing, again I am in heresy. … Heresy is the dislocation of the center of gravity of the personality.”
Robert hastens to add that he’s thrown the word “spirituality” out of his vocabulary because it seems to imply abandoning the earthly dimension. “I have little patience with people who say they are on a spiritual path, because almost invariably they are trying to advance the vertical (lofty, unearthly) part of their lives at the expense of the horizontal (earthly, human) dimensions of their being. … some ancient wag joked that not only could Saint Teresa chat with God, she also never burned a dinner!”
|—||Robert A. Johnson (Jungian analyst, writer and mystic) on the Cross and Heresy…|
and this I came to see:
That what I thought
was you and you,
Was really me and me.
|—||an old proverb [read more on projection]|
drawing by Carl Jung, from The Red Book
|—||- Marion Woodman, Dancing in the Flames|
|—||- Carl Jung|
Marion Woodman is a brilliant Jungian analyst, mystic, writer and healer. In this clip she talks about addiction and healing the spirit/body split.